I Wonder Where God Is

I wonder where God is.

So the journey has begun and we’ve been in the Dominican for about 3 days. But the journey between God and I feels like it’s at a stand still. The first couple of days have felt like forever. I’ve been waiting to hear what the Lord wants me to hear from him this month. For some reason, I just can’t hear it. Maybe it’s just because of the season I’m in.

The transition from the past season to this season feels kind of messy. You see, I was in a state of not knowing where I was going. Like most people do after college or university. But I seriously couldn’t find any job that was in the career I was hoping for and that frustrated me. I like to feel in control about my future… because I do have that choice. And now I absolutely have no control on how these next 11 months will turn out to be. God has full control on how he is going to stretch me, and it is scary.

Every time I try to stop and be still, my mind fills with a thousand different things. “Why am I really here?”, “What is it that you have planned for me Lord?”, or “Why can’t I hear you?”. In this moment I feel like God isn’t speaking, and it almost feels like he is gone. I don’t know where he is.

Even writing this blog has been hard. I simply can’t find the words to describe how I feel or know how to react. I want to be fully present and grow, but it feels like I’m holding myself back. _____________________________________________________________________________________

Fast forward about 5 days…

SO many things have been happening and have happened.

Life in the DR and even the World Race has not been what I was expecting it to be. And I don’t think it’s usually like this… but it just happens to be where God has placed us.

People have been sick, feeling spiritually attacked, or even feeling like we aren’t doing anything to help.

You see, our Host family has been dealing with sickness and have been feeling spiritually attacked. Their daughters are all not feeling the greatest. Specifically, their one has been vomiting and having seizures, so they’ve been back and forth from the hospital. This is the second time they’ve had to go and it’s weighing down on everyone, including all of us.

In terms of ministry, we’ve made due with what we can. Little cleaning up around the property, in dorms, and intercessory prayer. Today, all we really can do is be in prayer. And even though it feels like we haven’t been doing anything, the prayers are reaching out and being answered. Slowly but surely. God is here with us, we just need to use this time to be in constant trust and thankfulness. _____________________________________________________________________________________

Also, you all probably are wondering where I have been. I haven’t been able to get a hold of Wi-Fi to contact anyone, so I apologize for that. But hopefully will be in contact soon. I AM ALIVE, don’t worry!! I have a couple of videos ready to post, so hopefully they will be up soon for you all to see. If you all could pray for our host family and our whole squad, that would be very much appreciated.

Love you all and thank you for the prayers!