(A journal entry from May 2019 – thoughts on coming home)
I’m not Kim Possible but here’s what you need to know.
Past Situation:
I’ve traveled for the past 11 months and completely surrendered all my comforts, wants and everything to God.
Next Situation:
I’m flying home. I do have jobs that I could say yes to. I do have things I could do to fill my time and my thoughts.
But what’s the sitch?
I may not say yes to any of those jobs.
I may not fill my time to distract my thoughts.
I may have to grieve.
I may want to rejoice and celebrate.
I may just want to sit in my bed all day.
I may want to hang out, I may not want to hang out.
Please reach out to me, maybe not everyday or even every other day.
Please ask me questions you want to know about my journey (the more specific, the better I can answer).
I may get overwhelmed, but know that I do want to answer and share with you all that God has shown me this Year.
I guess what I’m trying to say is… please give me time. I may not be the same as the way I left. And it may take time to get used to that. And the difference is going to be harder to see the less I talk about these experiences.
And so the sitch is… Well, I’m coming home. And it terrifies me. I’m going to feel lost at first and I know this because I felt the same way as going into Europe these last few months. It’s not as seen… the miracles, the listening, God talking. And maybe it’s because I’m putting doubt in front of this faith I’ve seen in other places of this world. It’s going to be hard to keep striving for this kingdom mindset. I will need that community who values that same mindset. And I don’t know if I’ll find it right away. It may take years… and that scares me. I’m stepping away from a community who was so kingdom focused and coming back to a world who doesn’t show the same enthusiasm as I’m used to seeing on this journey. Not to say that no one else has that enthusiasm… it’s just harder to see in this side of the world.
So here’s my honest thoughts on coming home. And I most certainly am not Kim Possible in this situation.
